Texts From My Life: April Fool’s

Side note: I’m supposed to go stay at his house tonight..oh and we made up

TM: I kinda sorta forgot that my ex gf and her friends are going to Atlantic City tonight and I told her I’d go with them a while ago…

Me: Are you april fooling me right now?

TM:  lol f*ck! How did you know?

Me: lol I’m not retarded

TM: lol damn because of the laundry and the cooking and everything else I figured you didn’t keep track of the calendar by yourself either lol

 

Ok that was pretty funny and he’s talking about the fact that my parents do everything for me butttt I have a French Elle Vintage agenda which has a calendar on it…duh

Also, I almost did flip out but

a) he was harassing me to go stay with him tonight all of last night

b) we got off the phone at 11 PM so when was he informed of this trip

c) from what I know about his gf it seems like she didn’t have any friends and her life revolved around him

d) who the hell plans a trip to AC 6 months in advance? I planned my Paris trip 6 months in advance and everyone thought that was weird

So yeah didn’t fall for it now I’m thinking of what to do to him…

Options:

1) Tell him I went out with SC last Saturday and slept with him

2) Tell him I just talked to my friend today and I’m going to work at her job for the summer – she works at a law firm dealing with immigration law…in Paris

3) Tell him my period was supposed to come on Monday (he probably wouldn’t fall for this one)

Thoughts?

xx

Chloe B.

Texts From My Life: Still Here

I was telling my parents how my cousins girlfriends family isn’t speaking to her because she moved from Australia to NY to be with him and the following ensued…

Me: Wouldn’t you be mad at me if I met some guy and just picked up and moved to a different continent?

My mother: All you date are Frenchies and Arabs we’re surprised you haven’t left already!

Texts From My Life: Disappointment

Me: How was your birthday??

———–

SD: Hi!

Birthday was nice, just went out for dinner with a friend. Will celebrate this weekend…Received your card, so sweet of you!!! Thanks a million

SD.

Many kisses.

——————-

I don’t know what I expected him to say…maybe an “I miss you”…

Why is it so hard to let go of things that will never actually morph into anything? Is it because fantasy always trumps reality or is it because our emotions are supposed to be illogical? Or maybe we are just masochists?

Texts From My Life: Slippery Slope

I think I might possibly like Friend #3 because well he wasn’t what I expected. You see as far as I know #1 and #2 are really normal and goody goody and I expected the same from him. Instead he turns out to be worse than me and he’s actually funny (which is very hard to find these days). I think he just threw me off with the whole 21 questions thing. That’s my weapon, it’s my control technique…and I’ve never had it used against me like that.

So after Friday night which was just whatever I thought that was the end of that. Well I got trashed on Saturday and called and texted him, among other people. I think this might have given him the impression that I wanted to hook up with him. He fb messages me last night and this followed….

Him: Next question…
Have you ever cheated on anyone?

Me: Yes…
You?

Him: Yes.
Have you ever had a one night stand?

Me: Is it a one night stand if it was an acquaintance? (I know, slutty answer)

Him: No, has to be a stranger…

Me: Then no…
Yourself?

Him: Yes

Me: Why did you invite me over? (this was me counter-attacking)

Him: …because I wanted to see you.
Why did you come over?

Me: Why did you want to see me?
Because I wanted to know why you invited me over

Him: What were you expecting when you came over… a one night stand?

Me: No…but I think you were

Him: I don’t think you can handle me ;-p (so cliché)

Me: What makes you think I want to?

Him: … because you came over. You want to.

Me: Not necessarily….

Him: So you don’t?

Me: It’s nothing personal, I’m just not down for casual sex at the moment

Him: Fair enough, appreciate the honesty

Me: What drugs have you done?

Him: All of them. You?

Me: Some of them

Thoughts?

It’s really over….

Me: hey

Me: I had a question for you

Me: Or are we playing the ignoring game?

SD: hiii

SD: no was just busy

SD: how are you??

Me: I’m good, how are you?

SD: i’m ok, just a hard week again, finishing quite late but all good.

SD: weekends in paris as usual…

SD: you??

Me: Oh you’re still at work?

SD: no just got home, gonna shower and eat finally

Me: Everythings good, working, interning, going out on the weekends

SD: how’s work?? you happy??

Me: Working at the firm has its good days and its bad days, interning for the judge is awesome

SD: for the judge?? didn’t know that??? how great!!

Me: Ok so would you like to hear my proposition?? lol

SD: suuuure……

Me: ok sooo remember my really honest moments

SD: saying what??

SD: but ok yes i do remeber u have some really honest moment.

SD: keep going…

Me: ok well

Me: I like you

Me: and I dont know if you like me

Me: however, we’ve been playing cat and mouse for a really long time

Me: and I dont want to play cat and mouse anymore and I know you want something light but I dont want something light, Ive had something light for the last 2 years so the proposition is…

SD: ok….

Me: we can either try it and I mean actually try it not lets skype once a month and message each other saying have a nice life every 48hrs or we can leave each other alone for forever, no “Im coming to NY and I want to see you messages” because lets be honest this has gotten beyond out of hand…and whatever you want is fine with me

SD: Ok this is the one thing i really like about you, your honesty.

SD: Obviously, the way it was could not get us anywhere, the whole cat and mouse thing.

SD: But I am not sure when I’ll come to NY, could be a while, so I’m not sure we can make anything work without seeing each other, and clearly skype won’t really be enough…

SD: so my point is we don’t even really have a decision to make here, it kind of goes without saying that for now nothing concrete can come out of us.

SD: i think…

Me: lol that wasn’t in the proposition

Me: I thought you were coming this month? btw

SD: ouch, why do i always have to go for the none of the above answer…

SD: not goimg to be able to…

SD: have 2 weddings…

Me: oh ok

Me: so pick a or b

SD:

Me: the reason why Im not ok with the none of the above answer is becuase like I told you before Im not ok with not knowing and I dont want it to turn into a situation where no one really knows where they stand

SD: Ok so let’s protect ourselves and leave it at that……

Me: wow…ok so (b) it is then

SD: it is what makes more sense considering the situation.

SD:

Me: I dont know I liked (a) better, ok so it was really nice knowing you and I wish you all the best and I dont think we should communicate any longer then xx

SD: euhhh ok a bit radical but ok…

Me: well if we dont stop then it’ll be cat and mouse again

Me: oh and I have to defriend you also

Me: ok then Ill miss you bye

SD: i will too bye

It’s Over for the 2637893th Time

SD and I last spoke on the previous Wensday. Sine then I commented on 2 of his statuses, he commented back, and that was it. Now if we don’t speak for a week you’d think he’d realize there was a problem no? Apparently he didn’t so I decided to nicely remind him and the rest is history…

He had commented on my wall last year after I posted a status saying: “Everything’s cool as long as I’m getting thinner”

SD: Thinner and cutter every day.
July 11, 2009 at 12:39pm · Comment · Like · See Wall-to-Wall

So today I commented on the post:
Me: Where did that guy go?
5 hours ago ·

SD: Same guy, just about a year older…
4 hours ago ·

Me: Same guy? It can’t be…that guy used to pay attention to me
4 hours ago ·

SD: Are you sure it’s the same girl then?
4 hours ago ·

Me: Positive…what would make you think it wasn’t the same girl?
4 hours ago ·

SD: Some obvious & understandable distance.
4 hours ago ·

Me: So lets rewind… I want this back.
4 hours ago ·

Then I messaged him…

Me: June 2 at 2:47pm
I miss you…
Sent via Facebook Mobile

SD: June 2 at 2:48pm
Same here babe.

Me: June 2 at 2:49pm
Doesn’t seem like it…
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Me: June 2 at 2:56pm
Nice… your level of interest is sky high.
Have a nice time when you’re here.

SD: June 2 at 3:15pm
What now!!!
I have to reply in a second otherwise this is the kind of comment I get?! Is this how your work?!
Extremely annoying seriously………

Me: June 2 at 3:24pm
Are you home?
Sent via Facebook Mobile

SD: June 2 at 3:28pm
No. At a friend’s watching a soccer game.

Me: June 2 at 3:38pm
When are you going to go home?
Sent via Facebook Mobile

SD: June 2 at 3:46pm
I don’t know but what I do know is that I’m tired dreading your comments and reactions.
I just came out of something really hard & disappointing, I need simplicity, I need something light.
Even from the distance.

Me: June 2 at 3:53pm
Yeah and I need someone who actually likes me. Guess we’re both out of luck then.
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Me: June 2 at 4:07pm
Also, why don’t you take a step back and think how unfair this is to me? It wasn’t enough of a slap in the face that you decided to just ignore me and tell me you had a gf for almost a year but now that you don’t have a gf anymore I have to be “easy and simple” because the girl before me was dissapointing???? Either way, your loss bye
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Then my status said “la vie en rose” and his said “veut de la legerté.” aka wants lightness or something to that effect.

So a few things:

a) I asked he was home so we could move the conversation to skype thereby avoiding a fight

b) I think he was home because none of the messages were sent from his phone

c) I’m not pissed off, I’m kind of at peace with the whole thing. I agree with L when she said she doesn’t think he wants something real. I think he just wants to not be lonely and I need more than that. At this point I think I just want him out of the picture but I know there’s a “hey I’m coming to NY soon” message this summer but I just want him outttttt.

xx
Chloé B.

Texts From My Life

My mother on Al Gores divorce-”You are a shitty old man and you are a shitty old woman just stick together because you are used to each others shit. What do you think is going to happen? You are going to find someone else and start all over again?”

Woman on the bus: “Did she tell you why both of her marriages didn’t work? He’s in jail? Oh ok that makes sense.”

Man on the bus to lost teen Asian girl: “your stop is right when he makes the turn it’s a big white plaza you can’t miss it”

Lost teen Asian girl to man: “so should I follow that woman?”

Man to lost teen Asian girl: “well you can follow her, she looks like she’s going to make dinner”

xx
Chloé B.

Whyyy wont he get jealous???

Me:
Hi babe,

Since I’m assuming we wont be skyping anytime soon here’s an update. I’ve been okay…Friday I went to this art exhibit in meatpacking which was really cool then I met up with my friend for dinner and then went to Avenue after. Saturday I went to six flags and since I’m really scared of heights I was terrified the entire time but I went on all the rides!! Sunday I went out to dinner with this guy from Miami. Other than that works been pretty boring just researching some stuff and today I had such a bad morning. My brother was driving me to the bus and a cop pulled us over because I forgot to wear my seat belt and as he was lecturing us the bus went by. He didn’t give us a ticket but then I had to wait 40 minutes for the next one and it wasn’t express and it took foreverrrr and there was this little French girl who wouldn’t stop talking the entire time. In other news the little French girl inspired me to learn French although I’m not sure how that’s going to happen. I don’t know what I’m doing this weekend this guy I used to date invited me to the Hamptons but I don’t really want to go because I don’t feel like dealing with everyone and their snobby attitudes there all weekend. So what’s new with you???

xx

SD:
Hi hon,
Yes, I have to admit I’m still recovering from Ibiza and only have energy for my bed. Just came back from the office (9pm).
Nice to hear from you, how lucky u are u’ve been to 6 Flags!!!
Could go eeevery day!! Kingda Ka and Nitro are my favourite ones…
Ibiza was great, I was with Sidney (groom), his brother, his witness and another friend. All really good friend of mine. We had an amazing time. We all always agreed on our plans. We just kept partying at night and by the beach all day. Didn’t really sleep just naps. We went around the island and from places to places with the car we rented.
The groom was really happy…
Now being back to reality sux but it’s the way it is. At least I’m busy at the office so I don’t even realize how much Geneva sux.
I’ll be in Paris next w-e, wanna see my friends and mom for mother’s day on Sunday…

Pretty much it. Tonight soccer game on TV and Gossip Girl!!!

Des bisous.

PS: would be glad to help u with your french.

Why won’t he get jealous?!? L told me to stop playing games and just try it out for a change….arghhh

xx
Chloé B.

Texts From My Life: Confession

I might have “forgotten” to mention the WWIII SD and I had…becuase quite honestly this whole ordeal has gotten embarrassing.

Well after me commenting on his status(see here) I messaged him to delete the status and this ensued…

Me: Delete the status I commented on. Thanks, bye.

SD: You’re back to being cold and maybe even a bit aggressive for no reason.

Me: And you’re back to being pathetic.

SD: Honestly what’s really pathetic is this reply and your anger towards someone you met twice and had a virtual flirt with!
Just my 2 cents!

Me: Aww so cute, you’re angry now. Go back to crying on facebook about your gf dumping you, your 2 cents doesn’t count here.

SD: Don’t talk about things you don’t know. Why don’t you go crying about being single since 1998…

 

Me: Lolllll now who’s talking about things they don’t know. PS in 1998 I was 10, I know you’re old and everything but still!

SD: Wow Chloe, what a really smart answer. Even sarcasm you don’t understand.Yes I’m older but sooo need to grow up.
Ok bye-bye now.

 

Me: Pffff  You know that YOU are the one that fucked up twice. However, you also understand that since you apologized for doing the exact same thing shortly before your apology is not worth shit. As far as maturity level goes I’m 1536868 mature then you’ll ever be because I don’t lie to people and tell them what they want to hear or post up a million statuses whenever I’m no longer in a relationship so that people will pay attention to me. As for me being single, how do you know what happens in my personal life? I never told you anything personal because I never trusted you and thank god for that.  Don’t even think for a second that you’re going to point the finger at me. I have every fucking right to be angry because you fed me bullshit whenever it was convinient for you and you needed attention. So with all of that in mind GO FUCK YOURSELF you pathetic, immature piece of shit.

 

SD: I’m sorry but all I read is bla bla bla bla…….Hahahahaha…

 

Me: Wrong answer but have it your way. Byeee

 

SD: There’s no right answer with you. I understood that a while ago… Bye bye.

 

Me: Yeah sure SD everything’s my fault, you’re blameless.

 

SD: Plus there’s just no way I will let anyone talk to me the way you just did, and it also tells a lot about your maturity level!

 

Me: Whatever let’s you sleep at night..you know since you’re the one that got a gf,stopped talking to me, broke up with gf, all of a sudden starts talking to me again bla bla told me you were coming to NY again, then came here with your freaking gf and thought that what? I would magically not find out? The maturity level we’re concerned with is yours darling you know since I never fucked with your reality and told you lies that were convinient for me.

 

SD: For sure I did some things wrong. There’s just a thousand better ways to let me know how you feel about it other than the one you chose! It’s so wrong, stupid and mean.

 

Me: So you can do whatever you want but I can’t be angry? Nice double standard.

 

SD: Be angry all you want!! Just say it like an adult. Just understand that no one could accept this kind of email! There is just no way i can let you tell me what a piece of shit I am. I think that’s easy to understand.

 

Me: You’re right. I’m sorry for calling you a piece of shit.

 

SD: thank you.

 

Me: You’re welcome.

 

Also, during this conversation he defriended me. Now if you read all of this you’re thinking okay they passed the point of no return and that’s the end of that, they’ll never speak to each other again. Well if that’s what you thought you’d be wrong because 2 weeks later this followed…

 

SD: I’m thinking about spending a few days in NY soon. Maybe May 5th to May 10. Frankly, I would be disappointed to be there and not see you.

 

Me: I’m going to be locked in the library till May 12th cus I have finals so if you want to move it back a week…

 

SD: Can’t really, going with a friend and he can’t go at any other time. Disappointed………………………………………………..

 

Me:   You can’t stay longer?

 

SD: No, I can only do long weekends since I just started this new job… Really too bad…………

 

Me: I have a final till 2pm Saturday and there’s no way I’m going to be able to study after so maybe I’ll see you in the afternoon.

 

SD: Sounds good ))))) Will confirm once I book my flight.

 

I don’t even know…

 

xx

Chloe B.

Texts from my life: He’s not asking for a blow job

MD: I mean his bosses son isn’t asking for much I mean all the guy wants is for him to fb friend him and go to julet with him

MD: What’s so difficult? He’s not asking for a blow job

lolllllll

xx
Chloé B.