Deja Vu

September 1, 2012

Our subconsciousness loves playing tricks on us. I went out with SM last night and I had one outfit on but didn’t like it so I switched into a dress I rarely wear. When I got home I realized the last time I had worn that dress was on my second date with FD. My second date with FD was the Thursday before labor day weekend 2011. Last night was the Thursday before labor day weekend this year. Freaky.

PS will post about my bday weekend in Vegas soon

xx
Chloé B.

Photos from my latest field trip to Miami. Also, I was “randomly” selected by TSA and they scanned my shoes to see if I had been around explosives recently. Once in Paris, they scanned my hands for this same reason. Apparently 5’5, 99lbs white girls are suspicious lately lol.

20120821-191132.jpg

20120821-191146.jpg

20120821-191200.jpg

20120821-191243.jpg

20120821-191256.jpg

20120821-191323.jpg

20120821-191344.jpg

Protected: MIA

August 21, 2012

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

It Just Never Ends

August 18, 2012

I went out last night for the first time since I got back from Costa Rica. I was supposed to go to some exhibit with MVP, her bf and her friend but there was a line so we went to the Dream Downtown. There was an F1 party at Marble Lane and MVP decided we should all do dinner even though I keep telling her that the unemployed (i.e. me) can only do dinners where someone else is paying. The bill wasn’t that bad, we each had to pay $55 but that’s $55 that I didn’t have to spend and it also makes her bf look really bad that he can’t pick up a tab meanwhile he’s 40 and MVP even paid for herself. I’m not used to that but maybe I’m just spoiled. Anddd every time MVP comes out with my guys they pay but whatever. So we’re sitting there done with dinner and of course FD passes by on his way to the bathroom. I went behind him and smacked his butt and went to the bathroom as well. On the way down he was being all flirty. Once we got down there I didn’t have to go and those doors are so heavy and I couldn’t get them open anyway so I just left but the guys side of the bathroom is just urinals and he saw me. He then came upstairs and freaking interrogated me about why I didn’t go to the bathroom and said he felt like I followed him there (I did) but I don’t understand why he had to drill me. Then he kept saying I made him nervous and brought up me hitting him in the face at SL even though I apologized and he accepted my apology. Then we both went back to our dinners and SM came to join me. We then did a walk around and FD stopped her to say hello and then his friend wouldn’t stop talking to her so I’m stuck there with FD and a bunch of girls around him. It looked like he had brought this one girl who was hideous and then we kind of just parted ways and I went home and sent him whiny messages to make him feel bad but to no avail.

I just don’t understand why he has to be so awkward and obviously we’re going to run into each other so why not just be chill and have a good time. Oh and he told me I’m not fun… I think I’m loads of fun but I’m just not loads of fun when he’s just standing there being a douchebag. I.just.need.him.to.dissapear.

On another note… This whole no school, no job scenario I’m in lends itself to really weird conversation starters. For example I had a bunch of guys talk to me last night and of course the first thing people ask is what do you do… well I do nothing. I tell them this and then they ask if I’m in school and I say no then they ask if I work and I say no and then they give me a blank stare. I’m really tan now and I’m doing a bunch of traveling so I just joke around and say I just hang out and vacation and be a muse.

PS I had on a really cute outfit last night (even douchey FD made a comment about how cute it was) – it was a black corset type bodysuit and a frilly light pink/cream skirt over it. I looked like a ballerina. The skirt was bought from the little girls section of the store and it was a size small. Being 99lbs is convenient.

xx
Chloé B.

So Many Psychotic Men

August 16, 2012

FD: I spoke to him once during my trip, he was cold and I’m just over it. I’m curious to see whether he remembers my upcoming birthday but if he doesn’t it won’t matter because I’ll be in VEGAS and most likely too drunk out of my mind to notice.

AB 2.0: this little Russian is such a psycho. We messaged during my vacation and everything was fine and dandy until he decided to tell me that he’s going to Bangkok this upcoming weekend and then sent me a pic of his hotel itinerary showing a king sized bed and a reservation for 2 people. I then asked him who he was going with and he said friends from Germany and wouldn’t tell me who the second person in the king sized bed was. Turns out “it’s just a friend.” My problem, you see, is not with him sleeping with other girls but rather with why he feels the need to share it with me. I don’t tell him about other guys or try to make him jealous, I pretend like there are no other guys. But from what experience has taught me it’s the ones who pretend like nothing is going on that are up to something whereas people like him are up to nothing but want to make it seem as if there are. Anyway, I tried to explain to him why I was pissed but the conversation took a sharp left turn and we somehow ended up talking about how we’re just friends and how he’s sure I’m not being all innocent in Costa Rica and Vegas. Uhm… ok, then you should probably stop saying you miss me every 5 seconds then. So I just gave him the cold shoulder and a few days later he messages me pretending like everything’s fine. He’s currently receiving 1 word answers because I currently do not give a shit. He’s probably not moving to NY and even though he said he’d book my flight to see him he never mentioned it again so this road leads to nowhere.

VP: this guy decides to pop into my life at random intervals. I’m not sure why – he likes blondes, I’m brunette; he’s very Brooklyn and ghetto fab, I live in vanilla suburbia and just finished law school… we have nothing in common. But whenever he does pop in he’s kind of obsessive. He’s now in Miami and wants to fly me down there but I don’t know if I feel like making up a story of where I’m going to my parents or packing and the weather’s probably shit. Ironically enough I was supposed to go to Miami with this other guy LM this weekend but made him move the trip to mid September for the aforementioned reasons.

LM: I’m supposed to go to Miami with him but he’s too obsessed and I don’t really want to bang him. My plan to avoid this is by throwing a temper tantrum if he tries anything and pretending to be offended lol. I’m so bad.

Also, my current love life has me really confused. NY dating is really conducive to using and being used and if you try to turn it into something more, like I tried with FD, it just ends with you being screwed over. So I guess I’ll just have to use and be used but I think too much for that and I’ll just feel bad at the end of the day so I might just end up being alone for quite some time.

xx
Chloe B.

Costa Rica

August 16, 2012

20120815-123631.jpg20120815-123640.jpg20120815-123654.jpg20120815-123700.jpg20120815-123713.jpg20120815-123740.jpg20120815-123755.jpg20120815-123811.jpg20120815-123819.jpg20120815-123827.jpg20120815-123846.jpg

20120815-123934.jpg

20120815-123946.jpg

Costa Rica was… interesting. This trip, similar to my Australia trip, turned out not as I expected. I think this is due to my recent lack of research and planning when it comes to vacationing. You see I’m such an anal persona in my day to day life that when it comes to vacations the only planning I do is book a flight, figure out where I’m staying and get on a plane. The rest just unfolds naturally.

Costa Rican roads, however, do not lend themselves to such an approach. First, there’s not that many roads. Second, they tend to go around instead of cutting across and thus it takes much longer to get from one part of the country to the other. And lastly, unless you’re a local don’t even attempt to drive at night- lighting is non-existent, roads are narrow and curve and you’re sharing the roads with people, bicycles and animals.

With that said, my Costa Rica adventure was not so much adventure but rather calmer than I wanted. We booked a room in Samara for 2 weeks. We’re probably the only people who did this ever as everyone else just stopped over for a few days. I went with my parents and they’re not really ones to move around, they just want to lay on the beach. Samara beach, however, is nothing special. The reviews boast that it’s a white sand beach… it’s not, the sand is actually wet, yes all of it. At first sight we all went “eww what is this.” The reviews are right it is a deserted beach for the most part but the water is just whatever ocean water, the sand is wet and because tourism hasn’t really hit this town the beach is unkept. You eventually get used to and end up enjoying the fact that it’s all yours. Apparently the water is this blah color throughout all of CR, which is mind boggling since people go there for the beaches. The locals justify it by saying “well, it’s the pacific ocean” … so is Hawaii and Sydney and that water is beautiful. I don’t know maybe I’m just spoiled when it comes to beaches. Ok I’m done hating on the color of the water, now time to hate on the town haha.

The town of Samara was really quaint but also really disheveled and poor. I understand that this is a country in central America but I’m not comparing it to the US, I’m comparing it to third-world eastern Europe and this town made me realize that Albania is not so poor after all. There were a bunch of restaurants in the town, the food was good for the most part. El Lagarto, an Argentinian restaurant stood out from the rest. And there’s a hotel Leyenda, in the next town over in Carrillo, which was great. I’d actually stay at that hotel if ever in the area. Also, for being located in such a poor town the restaurants were not cheap but I guess that makes sense since they’re basically there for the tourists.

The best part of the trip was a day tour to Rincon de la Vieja. The drive was 2.5 hours each way but worth it. There is a ranch next to the park where they do a bunch of activities. We went tubing down Rio Negro, then did zip lining which included them rappelling you down a canyon upside down, then we went horseback riding and finally a mud bath and hot springs. The tubing was fun, there were a bunch of drops. It was my first time zip lining and I’m scared of heights but it goes by so quick. The scariest part was being on a platform with 8 other people, 7 stories over the river filled with rocks and realizing that the guy hadn’t hooked my safety harness to the main line so if one of those 8 other people accidentally pushed me I would have fallen to my death. No big deal. Then right after this I had to climb from the platform on to these metal hangers to get to the next platform, which was also really scary. My mom freaked out in the middle and kept saying that she wouldn’t do it but there was no other way down and she had to do it. Then you walk over a hanging bridge, which is also scary, and go to lunch. Then after lunch we went horseback riding. My dad was given a crazy horse that kept trying to fight with the other horses while my dad was riding him. My dad eventually calmed him down. My moms horse was preoccupied with licking his leg and kept putting his head down freaking my mom out. My horse decided to take a dump right after I got on him. We were in a group of 8 and all the horses were crazy and each wanted to go first. My horse was obsessed with another horse and made sure it was next to it at all times, regardless if it had to go off the trail to do so. As we were horseback riding it started raining and we got soaking wet. Then we went to the hot springs. They give you buckets of warm mud and really soft brushes to give yourself a mud bath. It was really fun and the warm mud felt amazing after getting soaked in the cold rain. We all took a brush and started putting the mud on each other, my brother and I even painted each others faces. My mom later nicknamed us the ADD family because everyone else took their time applying the mud, then let it sit before washing it off and jumping in the hot springs whereas we quickly painted each other, immediately rinsed off and jumped in the hot springs, which were awesome. My parents are obsessed with the hot springs now, they did feel really good and I ended up doing a little meditation while laying there.

Honestly, I had a good trip and I think the fact that we spent way too long in boring Samara was just what I needed to reboot after spending 12 hours a day studying. I really wanted to go by Arenal and Rio Celeste but they were a 5 hour drive from Samara each way and not conducive to a day trip. If I go to Costa Rica again I’d make sure to rent a car and jump around the country because there’s so much to see and the beaches there are good to relax for a few days but it’s definitely not by far a beach destination. Also we went during the rainy season and this was good because a) it didn’t rain on the beach except for 1 day and b) the layout of the country was ALL green and I mean someone took out all the different shades of green and painted the landscape – apparently it’s yellow and ugly during the non- rainy season.

PS customs leaving Costa Rica are a whole new level of annoying.

PPS Costa Rican’s are reallyyyy nice and friendly. Everyone you see, even strangers on the street, says hello. The little kids are the cutest though, once a car drove past my parents on the beach and a little kid rolled down his window to say hello to them.

xx
Chloé B.

Hiatus

August 5, 2012

I haven’t blogged in 500 years. I’ve been lazy and I’m also over it I guess. AD, however, has remained steadfast in her peer pressure that I blog so here goes nothing.

I spent this summer studying for the bar exam. This means that as of July 1st till July 23rd I was under house arrest. Then July 24 and 25 I was in Albany taking the NY bar exam and the multistate part. Then the next day I took the NJ bar.

You’d think being so busy there would be no time for drama but you’d be wrong. On June 12th, FD, the old guy went on some cruise in Europe that was sort of a networking event thing. I assumed he was going alone since he went to the South of France alone. I assumed wrong. He went with a 20 year old Russian girl that he had apparently been dating all of May without me knowing. Through a little Facebook stalking I figured all of this out. And then I spent the next week torturing both him and myself by sending him nasty text messages and calling him crying. I’m surprised that he actually took it because anyone else, myself included, would have just stopped answering and blocked me. This saved my friends from having to hear me cry about it. Then after a week I completely left him alone and then he messaged me asking if I was ok and we just started going back and forth again. He tried to see me but I said that I didn’t want to see him till after the bar. Then the weekend before my exam he had gone to the Hamptons and I saw that his ex-ex gf had stayed in the same house as him so I flipped out. He said that this other guy had invited her and I guess he was telling the truth since the girl had written on the other guys wall thanking him for inviting her and her friends. I threw my temper tantrum and gave him shit for not taking me to the Hamptons. That weekend he invites me and my friends and I go no bahaha. I belong in a mental institution.

I saw him on Monday, we went and got massages and then went to dinner with this other couple he’s friends with. They were very Brooklyn but really nice. The cruise came up again and I basically embarrassed his ass and told his friends he went with a Russian prostitute who is now in St. Tropes with some other guy. Karma is a bitch. Then we went back to his place and somehow ended up in bed together. He kept saying welcome back while we were doing it and at one point I got really sad and started crying. And the next day he tells me that it upsets him that I cried while we were “making love.” Uhm you can say we make love but you can’t give me a relationship? Really?

Then Tuesday night I told him I was going out but didn’t say where and he said to text him. I went to dinner at Cipriani with MD and this promoter then we went to SL. After 10 minutes at SL I feel someone grab me, it was FD. After grabbing me some girl comes up to him and is all over him and he ends up taking her number. Then he tells MD and I to come to his table. I was being bitchy and he starts talking in my ear about how he had met that girl in the Hamptons during the weekend and she was harassing him for his friends number and he told her I’ll give him your number. Well I had had a few drinks by this point and when I drink I get physical so while he was talking in my ear, I just put my hand on his face and mushed him. If you don’t know what that is is when you place your palm on someone’s face and push their head back. It’s a very ghetto thing to do. He started bitching of course and saying how my craziness gives him flashbacks of his ex. After 30 mins I thought he was over it so I went to dance next to him and he tells me to go back to the other table or else he’s leaving. I stayed there and he left and I walk out after him so there we are in the middle of 14th street fighting. We then go back inside the club and continue fighting inside, I start crying and we’re basically just chasing each other around. Then we go outside again and I run inside my car and we fight in there some more. He then goes back inside and we continue fighting over text. Then the next day I call him and we kind of make up or whatever even though we were both “done” the other night. And he tells me this is the last time he’ll deal with it like he says every time.

I don’t understand how we’re not actually done and it terrifies me to even imagine how this could possibly end because I’ve been with a lot of crazy people but even the craziest of people would have ended a long time ago.

In other news I still talk to AB 2.0 everyday but he’s in Singapore. He keeps asking me to go there and once I mentioned him paying for my flight and he said to send him my info but I never did and since then he hasn’t mentioned it even though I’m unemployed and broke so I can’t pay for a trip with my monopoly money.

As I write this I’m on a plane about to land in Costa Rica. I was really excited for this trip until yesterday when the FD drama drained me. Now I’m just tired and probably just going to lay on the beach for the next two weeks. On top of that I’ve just been feeling really confused and lost lately. I spent the last month studying every day 12 hours a day and now I do nothing and have no job prospects. I feel empty. I’ve gone clubbing but that makes it worse, I just look around and wonder what I’m doing there. And then I have this dysfunctional “relationship” with a middle aged man. This is not what I thought my life would be like the summer of my 25th birthday.

Ciao for now xx
Chloé B.

PS I wrote this on August 2nd… and then forgot to post it.

20120804-142316.jpg

The Intouchables

June 15, 2012

I went to see the Intouchables with AB 2.0 last night, I had never heard of it but he said it was supposed to be good. It was playing at the Paris Theater and I don’t say no to anything that has the word Paris in it. This movie was more than good, it was great. You don’t leave there with some epiphany or new understanding of life, you just leave there feeling good. It’s a very in the moment experience and that’s very hard to find in movies these days.

I’ve been a very bad girl and have not blogged in over 2 months, not because my life has been stable or calm but because I’ve been too lazy. My life has been anything but stable, especially my love life…

FD is still in the picture and instead of things getting better they just seem to get increasingly worse. He had a party in April, we had a fight there and I went home and ended it only to get back together the next day. Then I ended it again at the end of April, when I was studying for finals. But of course I can’t stay away too long so we decided to hang out as friends and meet up at the end of our night. I didn’t have much to do so I went out on a date with this guy that I had met at FD’s party, because I’m a horrible person like that. I ended up getting drunk and when I called FD he didn’t pick up. So after a few texts and calls I decided to just walk into his building and ring the doorbell. After about 5 to 10 minutes of doorbell ringing, his doorman came up to show me the way out because I was annoying his neighbors at midnight on a weekday. Yeah, so I might be a crazy person. He called me at 2AM to see if I had been in his building and I just went off on him. You’d think it would end there right? Well you’d be wrong. The next day he texts me to see if I’m ok, I say no, he calls me, I cry, we make plans for lunch the next day. And here you were thinking it couldn’t get crazier. The next day he calls me to see if we’re still on, I say no, he changes my mind, we get off the phone, I change my mind again and say no, he calls me again and changes my mind and we go to an early dinner.  I told him it would just be dinner and he said ok, then he somehow manages to get me back into bed with him. After this episode, he goes to Cannes for the film festival, I flip out on him for not paying attention to me which results in him calling me to calm me down at the rate of $1 a minute. Temper tantrums can be expensive. He comes back, we go out to dinner that night and have a nice chill time until my curiosity got the best of me and I decided to go through his phone for the 1947767037 time. This time was different however, this time I got caught. We got into a fight, I saw that he had texted his ex that day, he kicked me out, I changed his mind, we made up and he told me he had texted her because the cab had passed her block to get to his house and he had seen her walking. He had texted her that he had just driven by, she had asked why he hadn’t stopped and he had told her because he was in a cab with all his suitcases and told her oh you’re probably on your way to see your new bf the cop, give him my regards. See here is where he messed up, he shouldn’t have told me what he had written because I had only seen “I didn’t stop because”, the rest of the message is him provoking her and now every time he brings up me looking through his phone I say that I don’t need to look at it again I saw all I needed to see, he’s still messaging her and provoking her. Men are dumb sometimes. We keep having stupid little fights since then and the most recent was just yesterday. Yesterday I decided to look at his friends facebook and saw that he had been at Storm King, a sculpture park upstate. I called FD to see who he had gone shopping upstate with on Saturday and he then decided to tell me he had gone to Storm King. I didn’t say anything over the phone and then flipped out over text messages calling him a liar since he told me more than once that he went shopping upstate Saturday. And we hung out Saturday night and instead of meeting up at 8:30 like we said, he came home at 10PM and I was out on a date so I went by at 1:30AM. He then gave me shit because I told him at 11:30 I’d bring him food since I was out to dinner but I was like eh I don’t care and went over 2 hours later empty handed. So yesterday we spent about 3 hours texting, and me ignoring his calls until we finally made up again. I really need to go see a therapist. I don’t understand why this won’t end. I obviously can’t end it so I’m just being crazy and hoping he will but it’s not happening. And then I don’t understand why he does all this messed up shit because then he just has to deal with my whining and try to fix it, why can’t he just not mess up so we don’t have drama? In other news, I’ve started sleeping over again and we just spoon and cuddle all night and it’s so intense and amazing so I guess no one is leaving anytime soon.

So back to my date on Saturday, I met this Russian guy through MVP. We’ll call him AB 2.0 and I just now realized he has the same initials as my ex, weird. I met him last Sunday at STK Rooftop brunch and at first he was standoffish but by the end he was in love with me. We kept texting and decided to go to the Guggenheim together on Saturday. Afterwards I was going to meet up with FD but he wasn’t back on time so I just went out to dinner with AB 2.0. We had dinner at Brasilina, which was amazing and they have super delicious caipirinhas. This guy and I have a lot in common and he’d be great to date but of course as with the majority of my men he doesn’t live here! He’s from Germany, living in Singapore working for a German bank. His contract expires in December and then it’s either Germany or NY so we shall see. This guy got a little upset with me when I left him on Saturday night and  accused me of going to see another guy. No shit Sherlock. Once I got to FD’s place he kept texting me and FD who was already pissed told me to just go answer my texts. And when I told FD I had gone to Guggenheim and dinner with this guy, he accused me of going on a date and I said noooo of course not, it was just a friend. The next morning AB 2.0 kept texting me again and FD said to keep texting my little boyfriends. I wouldn’t have little boyfriends if you didn’t suck.

Oh and back to FD for a second, last Monday he wanted me to go over but it was super late so I knew my parent’s wouldn’t let me take the car and I told him to pick me up. He said he was drinking and just had me take a cab. This was a $100 cab ride that he paid for for no reason, because when I got there he was in a bad mood and just put me in a bad mood. My parents also flipped out on me and said that even now when I’m older I still do the same stupid shit. I ran away for about 2 weeks when I was 16 and just stayed with my friend whose parents were in Italy. Yeah, i’m pretty much a horrible child.

I feel like other crazy things have happened but I’m just forgetting them… so let’s talk about normal stuff.

I graduated law school in May. No big deal. Now I’m studying for the bar and it is horrible. I went to a super Muslim Pakistani wedding this last weekend because my cousin moved to the US and became super muslin and got married. The bridal shower was actually fun, there was dancing and it was super happy. The weeding was just odd, there was no alcohol, the men and women were put on separate sides of the ballroom and there was no music or dancing. So basically none of the Albanians were happy that they couldn’t drink and dance.

P.S. Dear AD, I don’t know if I told you but I saw that Josh had recently viewed my linkedin profile. Thought you’d enjoy that.

xx

Chloe B.

 

Third Birthday

April 17, 2012

cake993

This past Saturday, April 13, 2012, was the third anniversary of this blog. Oddly enough I can’t decide whether I feel as if it’s been longer or shorter. Probably shorter. I didn’t think I’d make it this long, I thought I’d just write for a few months and then run out of things to say. I initially started this blog to keep track of all of the weird and dramatic things that occur in my life. I thought eventually these things would stop and I’d have a normal life but alas. But then again does anyone really have a normal life or does it just seem normal to them and crazy to everyone else, but I digress. Happy birthday my little baby blog.

xoxo

Chloe B.